Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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