You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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