Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
This is the high leading the old right now
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The air was thick with penises
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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