why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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