He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
