Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
