Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
