time to smoke my breakfast
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize