Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize