You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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