I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
