I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
