Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
