brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
