So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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