I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
