i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
