Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
