I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just gargled with NyQuil
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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