Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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