whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
