It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize