I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
