I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
The air taste purple.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
