Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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