whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
