I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
