can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
