You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
