i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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