Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
