...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
