I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
