I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
