Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
