your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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