My brain says no but my pants say off.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
