Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
