The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
