i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
