so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize