So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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