ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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