TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Randomize
