One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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