Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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