we have pet lesbian snakes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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