you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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