Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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