he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize