he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
