i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
