even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize