is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How does it feel to date your dad?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
