Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Randomize
