Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
