Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
