I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize