I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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