what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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