Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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