So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
