In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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