im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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