i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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