I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
