oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
