its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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