I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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