well you can't waste a boner
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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