Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
