He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
