If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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