"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
