Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize